Captain America: My End Game

April 26th, 2019

This is Captain America reporting my first log before traveling back in time to capture the infinity stone. Last system check is complete, and we are a “go” for time travel. I will check back in on the mission and log all of my events to ensure that the flow of time is not interrupted.

I looked down at my watch one last time to make sure it was secure. I know the mission, I’ve gone over it hundreds of times: go back in time, retrieve the infinity stone, go back to 2019. It’s simple. I know my mission, I know my duty to my country, to the world, but I can’t stop thinking about her. I could see her, leave this all behind, or in the future I guess. I only get to travel twice. I can’t go back to see her. The world is counting on me. I have duties, moral obligations that must take precedent as they have for the past 100 years. But what if...

April 29th, 2019

The infinity stones were successfully captured, Thanos destroyed and billions of people returned to earth after 5 years missing. I have volunteered to return the infinity stones back to restore the flow of time. Scott has confirmed the time travel machine is prepared. I will begin with the Space Stone, or “Tesseract.”

It didn’t take me long to return all of the stones, I knew it wouldn’t. I also knew no one would question why I volunteered to return them. “It’s my duty to serve the country and world,” is all I have to say and no one bats an eye. I want to see her one more time. I know I can’t stay, I have a world in chaos to protect and serve, but I long to look into her eyes again. Maybe seeing her will give me the strength to continue. Truth be told, my body may not have aged but my mind has, and I’m tired. “It’s my duty to serve the country and world,” but for how long?

March 3rd, 1942

The last infinity stone has been returned and the flow of time restored. I have made a brief personal pit stop before returning to 2019. I will ensure to log my activities to track the time continuum and locate any disturbances I may cause. It is my duty to serve and protect my country and I will be back soon to do so.

March 30th, 1942

Captain America log. It has been a few weeks since I found her. I couldn’t help myself. I had to see her. We went on a date, I took her dancing. We held hands and looked at the stars. I missed kissing her, holding her. I feel stronger than I ever have. I found a job as a mechanic, I know Tony would be shocked to see that I actually learned from watching him with all of his gadgets. I hope I’m making him proud. I know I said I would make this brief, I have a duty to protect the future world, but I can’t leave yet. I’ll be back soon, the future can survive a few more hours without me for a few more years with my love.

July 21st, 1942

Steve Rogers here. We fell back in love fast, and got married a few weeks ago on July 4th, ironic I know. One day to celebrate both of my loves. We moved into a cute house in the suburbs, she wanted four bedrooms so we can have room for lots of kids in the future. Kids? I never thought I’d have kids, it wasn’t possible in the future. My mechanic business is taking off, I know I would be making Tony proud except nothing I make shoots explosives so that would disappoint him. We got a dog and named him Starkey, much like Tony, he likes to mark his territory everywhere we go. My wife started teaching preschool. She is so good with kids. It pains me that I have to go back to the future. I can’t imagine leaving her now, I know I need to go back soon, but what if I stay? What if we had kids? What if I was just Steve Rogers now? What if...

August 27, 1952

Hey there Captains log. Captain, huh haven’t said that name in a while, it sounds weird now. It’s been a few years. I know I said I would go back but a few weeks after my last log I found out my wife was pregnant. We lost the baby a few weeks after that. She told me to go back after the loss, that our future was gone but she was just hurting, we both were. I knew at that moment I wasn’t going back. That my duty was no longer to serve and protect my country, but to love and protect her, even if it was just the two of us. A few years later we got pregnant again. Twins. Luckily my mechanic business took off, we own three different branches now, and I can spend lots of time with the boys. We named them after two great men; Tony and Bucky. They start 1st grade today and ironically they take after the men they were named. Tony knows it all, extremely smart and a little arrogant, but we're working on that. Bucky has grit, he's the hardest worker with the biggest heart. He’s a mama's boy for sure, but he sneaks me a hug every now and then. He likes to make fun of Tony for being nerdy though. Every night they ask me to tell them stories about “The Avengers.” They heard my wife and I talking about it one time and that was that, they became obsessed with superheroes and these “avengers.” To them it’s just stories though, they don’t know they are actually real, or will be real eventually. I’m sorry I won’t be coming back. I’ve packed up the watch and this will be my last log for a while. My Captain America days are over. I’m Steve Rogers, father, husband, and a kick ass mechanic.

March 1st, 1983

I found this old log in the attack. My future life feels like it was so long ago. I know I started this log to remember my time here before I went back... well we know how that went. I wish I had a log from my future life, I can barely remember it, it feels like it was just a dream. The kids are good. Tony got married to his wife Sally a few years back. They had two kids, Scotty and Natalia who love to spend time with Grandpa Steve. Tony became an innovator of medical technology. At 20 years old he invented a machine that scans the internal organs of people, a CT scan he called it. Of course I already knew what it was but he didn't know that and did it all on his own. Bucky married his husband Juan and they adopted little Diana who loves all of my “make believe” superhero stories. Bucky was an incredible soldier, much like the man he was named after. He was a hero. He died a few years back trying to save children in a village the military had ordered a strike on. He was driven by values and morals, I like to think he got that from me. I miss him everyday.

March 3rd, 2019

She died a few days ago. I was cleaning out her stuff when I found the watch and decided to go back. I said goodbye to everyone in this life, and had to say goodbye to everyone in my future life. I didn’t tell them anything though, when I came back. This time was just for me, for once something is just mine. I could see the curiosity on Sam’s face; he wants to know how I got so old and wrinkly, they all do. For them only a few days passed, but for me an entire lifetime. I may be 76 but 200 years weathers my mind. For the first time I don’t feel strong, but I do feel whole. No Captain America strength or Steve Rogers love to make me invincible. It's me with my time, deteriorating muscles, and heart, too full for one man, weighing me down. I am fading away. It’s my turn to disappear. It’s my turn to snap my fingers. It's my End Game...

About the Self Portrait

In this self portrait of Captain America, I wanted to portray his stoic nature while humanizing him, focusing on Steve Rogers rather than Captain america. He is looked at as an icon, a symbol of hope and safety. He is a super soldier with super strength and inability to age yet most people forget to see that he is human too. I wanted to portray his inner battle between the Symbol Captain America and the Human Steve Rogers. Both Captain America and Steve Rogers have a duty to protect what they love, for Steve that is Peggy and Captain America it's his country. I chose to do a diary entry which was initially for Captain America to log his time in the past before coming back to share with everyone but turned into Steve’s love story. The diary creates this tension between obligation to country versus heart that is central to this character. Over each entry his tone shifts away from his stoic heroism duty to just a simple man in love with his wife living his life, yet he will always have a small sense of guilt for not going back. The fonts were chosen to show the initial stark contrast between Captain America and Steve Rogers, while the two slowly merged into one by the end.